Slightly guilty

So I'm off on break from today through next week. And I am planning to put Noelle in daycare still. I got a certain type of response to this depending on who I was talking to. Non-moms automatically assumed that I would spend the entire week with Noelle. Moms on the other hand were EXTREMELY supportive of my decision to keep her in daycare during my time off so that I can have time to do errands baby-free and to just veg. I figure, she may as well go to daycare since we won't get reimbursed even if she's not there all next week and she's feeding much better with them than with us still. Plus, I loooooove the idea of having time to do various errands that have been curdling in the back of my mind and bothering me to get done.

Part of me does feel guilty that I'm not using the extra time with her but I truly need the time to myself to feel recharged. My taking the time for myself makes me a better mom. Besides, germ-o-phobic me is still a bit leery of taking Noelle with me into crowded stores. Everytime I see that commercial about that mom putting her baby into a bubble, I KNOW that it's geared towards moms like me. =P

But I have to watch out for doing too much during my days off. I tend to use all my free time to do stuff that "needs doing" (i.e. cleaning, organizing Noelle's room, researching/ordering/hunting down various toys or foods for Noelle). I need to remind myself often to just take a break. From what I've seen with Rob and what I've heard from my married girlfriends with children, it's common that the father automatically does leisure stuff when there is downtime (i.e. baby is sleeping or visiting grandma for the day) while the mother goes into automatic mode to get stuff done whether it be straightening the room, ordering that teether she heard about, or running out to do food shopping. I'm aiming for the middle ground for us. I used to resent it that Rob would go into leisure mode whenever Noelle slept but I slowly realized that everyone (including me) needs time doing something mindless and fun to stay sane. And that guys just don't spontaneously think, "Oh, I have spare time. I shall go take care of that errand." So, we're a work in progress...me to slow down some of the time and to simply ask Rob for help during some of his downtime.

Let me take this moment to say though that Rob is pretty awesome with regards to Noelle. He is great about helping me to wash her endless bottles, doing her laundry, and is always more than willing to feed/change/bathe/or just be with her when she needs it. And I just want to say over and over that he's awesome and I appreciate him every day. => I hear about the blank stares that a lot of my girlfriends get when asking their husbands to bathe the baby or some other baby related chore and it makes me want to hug Rob Elmira-style from Looney Tunes.

"I want to pet them and squeeze them and call them George."