Collateral damage

Another adjustment I'm making involves learning how to handle the inevitable stresses to my relationship with Rob as a result of having a baby. The combination of sleep deprivation and bouts of listening to a loudly crying baby makes us more snappish with each other. You may say, "So? Everybody is cranky once in a while and snaps at their significant other." Um, not us generally. I know, we're freaky that way.

I generally hate to fight and I grew up in a household where we hardly ever fought. If we had a problem with each other, we did argue/fight but if our crankiness did not result from that person, we did not take it out on them. As Rob says, my siblings and I are freakishly polite with one another. Rob did not grow up this way (on the contrary, his family readily curses at each other if they're pissed, which scared the shit out of me the first time I saw it in action while we were still dating). Over the past 12 years we've been together, we did not typically take out our bad moods on each other. But now, it's just really easy to snap at each other or to get annoyed at the other because we're both short on sleep and stressed. I know that it's odd but I find it really uncomfortable to snap at him or vice versa.

Plus, it's harder now to find time to enjoy being with one another as a couple. Our sleeping schedules are staggered so we see each other less often. When we are both awake and in the house at the same time, we're usually caught up in taking care of Noelle, doing chores, or taking care of a million other things. It's hard to even eat a meal together.

We're of course enjoying being with each other plus Noelle as a family but it's hard for me to let go (or postpone indefinitely) of the activities I'm used to doing with Rob as a couple. As of now, it's like we're taking turns to relax and enjoy ourselves. I miss relaxing and enjoying a nice dinner out WITH Rob. He's very supportive of me going out with my friends. But I truly miss going out with him.